Sure. We’ve all studied some NLP and its precursor “body language” but
the truth is that we get busy. We don’t apply what we know and we miss
opportunities to be better communicators.
This is a good time to review some of these skills.
Body language never lies. It can tell you a lot if you know what to look for.
Just be careful not to use this information to fuel your assumptions.
So the first tip is - always test your observations of body language to
confirm that what you think is really what is going on. If people appear
bored, angry, or frustrated, then they probably are! But always check this
out with them first just to be sure. You might say, "It looks like you are
slouching or fidgeting. Would you mind sharing what you're experiencing
right now?" If you sense that a body is telling you something, check in with the person to find out what it is.
Next is - examine the congruence between body language and verbal
language. For example, laughing while describing a very painful experience
is incongruent behavior and should be checked out. This incongruence
indicates that something is amiss.
The "movements" of Body Language can provide clues about how people
conduct other aspects of their lives. These are patterns of behavior that
they might not even be consciously aware of.
Be attuned to cultural differences in body language. These could also
affect your observations. So as always, check out your perceptions.
Finally, - be conscious of the power of your own body language to affect
others. For instance, use open friendly posture. When you move, move
deliberately and for a purpose. Use gestures to strengthen or enhance
your communication. Make regular eye contact with everyone. Be
expressive, amplifying what you are feeling and saying with your facial
expressions and your body gestures.
Look for these cues and check them out. Practice observing body
language. Use them to improve your daily inter actions.
- Positive Body Language / Negative Body Language
- Direct eye contact (no staring)
- Warm, open smile (teeth revealed)
- Nodding
- Head tilted
- Open, inclusive gestures (palms showing)
- Fully facing others
- Leaning forward
- Upright but relaxed posture
- Firm handshake
- Double hand clasp handshake
- Feet firmly planted
- Chin up
- Sitting forward
- Eyebrow flash upon greeting
- Eye contact not met
- Tight or no smile
- Down and away or dropped glances
- Not fully facing, at an angle
- Leaning away
- Hunched shoulders
- Too-stiff posture
- Weak handshake
- Chin into chest
- Arms crossed or Legs crossed
- Body sagging
- Legs outstretched while seated
- Absentminded gazes
- Staring
- Fidgeting